May 2013
8 posts
Conversations with my Daughter #52
Milla: Can I have a pony?
Conversations with my Daughter #51
Milla: He looks like a thief.
Me: What does a thief look like?
Milla. Beard. Moustache.
Conversations with my Daughter #51
Milla: Lynne can have a baby. She's got lots of eggs.
Conversations with my Daughter #50
Me: I need a wee.
Milla: You could have gone at Helen's.
Conversations with my Daughter #49
Milla: You smell nice, are you wearing that spray?
Me: No, I'm not.
Milla: You should wear it because it makes your skin smell fresh..
Conversations with my Daughter #48
Milla: I love you, and Daddy and Lynne.
Me: What do you love about Lynne.
Milla: She has vegetarian sausages.
Conversations with my Daughter #47
Milla: I'm going to write a story about the moment a girl starts writing a story, about the moment a girl starts writing a story.
Conversations with my Daughter #46
(Watching Harry Potter)
Sirius Black: Once this is over we'll be a proper family.
Milla: Once this is over you'll be dead.
April 2013
13 posts
Conversations with my Daughter #45
Milla: Have you noticed one thing about Harry, Hermionie and Ron?
Me: What's that?
Milla: They all have white skin.
Conversations with my Daughter #44
Milla: Do you know what the most importantist thing is?
Me: You tell me what the most importantist thing is.
Milla: Life.
Me: What makes you say that?
Milla: It's Life. Not Mum and Dad, not school, not nursery, not house, not friends, not God. Life. And the world.
Me: What makes you say that?
Milla: Emmmmm. Life is nice. If your not in life your nothing. If life wasn't invented we wouldn't be here now. We're human. We're stardust. If stars we'ren't invented we wouldn't be here. Full stop.
Conversations with my Daughter #43
Milla: Do you know what's inside a baked bean?
Me: Bean?
Milla: No, potato.
Me: No it's not it's bean.
Milla: Look. It's white.
Me: But the beans are white so when you look at their insides they are white.
Milla: And so are potato's.
Conversations with my Daughter #42
Milla: Are we in fairyland?
Me: No, we're in Scotland.
Conversations with my Daughter #41
Milla: If you get married again can I hold a cushion with a ring on?
Me: Yes. But I don't think I'll get married again.
Milla: Why not?
Me: Well I don't think there is much point to it.
Milla: But you want another baby don't you? Or a daughter?
Me: Yes, but you don't need to be married for that.
Milla: But the man has to give you something.
Me: It's not marriage.
Conversations with my Daughter #40
Me: I have something to tell you. In about a month I won't be going to work.
Milla: That's great!
Me: Why?
Milla: Because then you can pick me up from school and we can have fun together.
Me: Yeah, we can have fun together. But we're going to have to be careful with money. We won't be able to have chips.
Milla: Why?
Me: Well work is where I get money.
Milla: But you'll have a boyfriend by then.
Me: Why do you say that?
Milla: We'll because you should. It's very unusual.
Conversations with my Daughter #39
Milla: God made people, and Buddah made the plants.
Me: What makes you say that?
Milla: Buddah's are good at planting things. They plant wishes. God is good at human's but God and the Buddah's made the first people on earth. And perhaps wizards.
Conversations with my Daughter #38
Me: Now, I'm going to put some music on. We're going to listen to music. This, is Massive Attack.
Milla: Is it scary?
Conversations with my Daughter #37
Milla: I think Christmas is when the dead rise up.
Me: Why?
Milla: Because that is when the world started.
Me: I don't think that anyone knows when the world started.
Milla: It's when you give presents to the dead. It's when you give presents to the living. It all add's up!
Conversations with my Daughter #36
Me: I couldn't love you more.
Milla: You stink.
Conversations with my daughter #35
Milla: Do you think Voldomort is telling the truth?
Me: I don't think Voldomort ever told the truth.
Milla: But he gives nice cuddles.
.
Conversations with my daughter #34
Helen: We went to see my mother.
Me: You went to see Helen's mother? Is she the oldest person you've ever met?
Milla: How old is she?
Helen: 93.
Me: 93.
Milla: What about her death?
Conversations with my daughter #33
Milla: I know how babies come out. They come out your head. That's why you can't think.
January 2013
3 posts
3 tags
Conversations with my daughter #32
Me: Tell me about the story you are going to write?
Milla: This is the title and it's is called Transforming Girl. And these are the characters Davie Jones, Jack Sparrow, Jack Sparrow's Dad and a mermaid Princess. A mermaid princess, she's called Serica. And who else is in, the princess of warriors and Princess Mononki, and I don't know her name but it's an alien and I think she's called Aloe Vera. And, what else was I thinking and Branzilla's.
Me: What are Branzilla's?
Milla: Their doll's I've seen them in the window. And what else, I can't remember they have pets. Do any people copy you?
Me: I'm not good enough yet to be copied.
Milla: Why?
Me: People only copy people if they are good.
Milla: The evillest and the prince, and all Disney princess.
Me: What's going to happen?
Milla: We'll do that another day, these are just the characters, I need the toilet.
2 tags
Conversations with my daughter #31
(Milla comes into the room holding a flyer from LoveFilm)
Milla: I'd like to see that film.
Me: Desperate Housewives? Really? Why?
Milla: They look like they're ready for fighting. I know what they're desperate for, They're desperate for fighting.
3 tags
Conversations with my daughter #30
Milla: What are those bumps round your nipples?
Me: It's part of the areola. It's the bit that's round your nipple.
Milla: Is it like the rings on tree's and if you count them you can tell how old you are?
December 2012
4 posts
4 tags
Conversations with my daughter #30
Milla: I am the Princess of Love and the Queen of Winter.
Me: Do you grant wishes?
Milla: Yes. (Whispering) But wish for a daughter, I can do that easily.
3 tags
Conversations with my daughter #29
Me: I was just thinking about how much I am going to miss you the days I don't have you over Christmas.
Milla: Well, you could tidy your room.
2 tags
Conversations with my daughter #28
Me: (singing) Now I know how Joan or Arc felt, now I know how Joan of Arc felt.
Milla: How did Joan of Arc feel?
Me: Quite hot at the end I imagine.
Milla: Was that your song? Did you make it up?
Me: No it was made up by a man called Morrissey, who you'll probably like a lot when you are a teenager.
Milla: Do you like him?
Me: I used to like him a lot. He's a very good lyricist.
2 tags
Conversations with my daughter #27
A plate of Mousaka is put in front of Milla
Milla: I won't eat that!
Me: Why
Milla: Looks like...frog burp!
November 2012
2 posts
3 tags
Conversations with my daughter #26
(The starting credits of Superman have just finished)
Milla: Is that the end of the film?
Me: No. It's just the start.
Milla: That's good. That would have been a boring film. Especially for people who can't read, like me. I can't read. I don't have the time.
2 tags
Conversations with my daughter #25
Milla: Get that for me.
Me: Milla do you just not think I deserve to have the word please used with me?
Milla: No, you don't deserve it because you don't have a magnet that sticks thing together, you don't let me wear high heels and you don't let me go to your festibal.
October 2012
1 post
2 tags
Conversations with my daughter #24
Me: What shall we read for your bedtime story tonight?
Milla: (whispers) Your poems.
Me: Really?!
Milla: No, I just couldn't think what to say, so I said that.
July 2012
1 post
3 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #23
Milla: Do you think that man is a thief?
Me: Why, do you think he's a thief?
Milla: Yes.
Me: What makes you think that?
Milla: He looks like a thief.
Me: And what does a thief look like?
Milla: Well, thieves are bald.
June 2012
1 post
5 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #22
Milla: Who were the first people in the land?
Me: What do you mean by land - Scotland?
Milla: Yes
Me: Well, they were called the Picts, but we don't know a lot about them because they did not write anything down.
Milla: Why didn't they write anything down.
Me: Well paper wasn't invented then.
Milla: Who invented paper?
Me: The Chinese.
Milla: Well how did the Chinese have babies?
Me: The same way as everyone else.
Milla: But how did they have the first babies, did they have them with their children?
Me: Do you want to know how there are so many humans?
Milla: Yes.
Me: Well, we all originally came from monkeys.
Milla: No we didn't.
Me: We did. Originally we were monkeys and over time became humans.
Milla: No we weren't, we were all babies.
May 2012
6 posts
3 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #21
Milla: Can we send a postcard?
Me: Who would you like to send a postcard too?
Milla: Gillian
Me: What would you say?
Milla: Mairi loves you. You will die.
2 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #21
Milla: Why did the joke put a poo on it's head?
Me: I don't know, why did the joke put a poo on it's head?
Milla: Because it wanted to eat fire.
Me: Why is that funny?
Milla: Because you can't eat fire.
3 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #20
Milla: Will there be fat people at my school?
Me: I don't know. Why do you want to know if there will be fat people at your school.
Milla: Because I might laugh at them.
Me: I don't think that's very nice.
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you remember when you told me you didn't like it when people laughed at you because you pronounced words wrong?
Milla: (silence)
Me: You laughing at other people would make them feel the same way.
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you think it's nice to make people feel like that?
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you think it would be nice to make people feel bad?
Milla: I don't want to talk about it.
2 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #19
Milla: You will do everything for me.
Me: Oh, I will do everything for you, will I? How's that?
Milla: Because you do already. Because you will.
3 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #18
(On the phone)
Milla: My nose hurts
Me: Well, we'll have to cut it off then.
Milla: No, no.
Me: Yeah - it's the best thing for a nose that hurts, cutting it off.
Milla: I've had enough. Bye.
(Hangs up on me)
4 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #17
Milla: I think you should have some perfume.
Me: Why?
Milla: Because you smell. You should have a wash and some perfume. Wash first.
April 2012
2 posts
4 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #16
(In the public toilet at the Edinburgh Botanic Gardens Cafe)
Milla: You have a willy
Me: No I do not.
Milla: You have that hairy thing.
Me: Yes, I do.
Milla: I have one, but with no hair
2 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #15
Me: Did you enjoy your holiday on Skye?
Milla: I wanted to hold hands with Edinburgh, because I missed Edinburgh, and Edinburgh missed me.
December 2011
2 posts
2 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #14
Me: I'm going for a shower.
Milla: Thanks.
Me: Why did you say thanks?
Milla: You're stinky.
Me: Am I really stinky?
Milla: Not really stinky, just a bit stinky.
3 tags
Conversations with my Daughter #13
Milla: I know Ben 10 is called Ben 10 because his first name is Ben. But where do you think the 10 comes from?
Me: I don't know, I've never watched it.
Milla: Maybe he played tennis?
November 2011
1 post
Conversations with my Daughter #12
Milla: How do I get to become a real princess?
Me: Well, there are two ways. First you can be born to a King and Queen, you can't do that any more. Secondly, you can marry a Prince.
Milla: I don't do that.
October 2011
4 posts
1 tag
Conversations with my Daughter #11
Milla: Can I tell you a secret?
Me: Yes.
Milla: &*(£(&(&*(B ^££*$* ("*£($)$)
Me: &*(£(&(&*(B ^££*$* ("*£($)$). Really?
Milla: Yeah. Don't tell anyone.
Me: I won't.
1 tag
Conversations with my Daughter #10
Me: Come on Milla. You need to pick up your pace.
Milla: What's pace?
Me: Pace is speed, like how fast you're walking.
Milla: I left my pace at home.
1 tag
Conversations with my Daughter #9
Milla: When are you going to get a baby in your tummy?
Me: Well, I should probably have a boyfriend to do that.
Milla: Perhaps you could meet someone at work?
4 tags
Conversations with my daughter #8
Grandfather: And what are you child?
Milla: What am I?
Me: You're Scottish.
Milla: I'm Scottish.
Granny: Is there any English in you?
Milla: Is there any English in me?
Me: A little bit.
Milla: A little bit. What's English?
Granny: I'm English.
Milla: You're English. How do you say hello in English?
Granny: Hello
Milla: How do you say bye bye in English?
Granny: Bye bye.
Milla: How do you say bonjour?
September 2011
8 posts
4 tags
Conversations with my daughter #7
Milla: Why are The Hoobs not on telly?
Me: I don't know love, I don't decided what goes on.
Milla: Who does?
Me: There are little men inside the telly who do that.
Milla. Oh. Why don't you work in telly?
Me: I don't know.
2 tags
Conversations with poets #2
Poet: I liked that one you put up about having fingers in too many poets.
Me: Yeah, that was quite funny.
Poet: Was it me?
Me: No.
Poet: How many poets have I had my fingers in?
Me: Shouldn't you have a rough idea yourself?
Poet: I can't remember.
