Conversations with my Daughter #21
Milla: Why did the joke put a poo on it's head?
Me: I don't know, why did the joke put a poo on it's head?
Milla: Because it wanted to eat fire.
Me: Why is that funny?
Milla: Because you can't eat fire.
Conversations with my Daughter #20
Milla: Will there be fat people at my school?
Me: I don't know. Why do you want to know if there will be fat people at your school.
Milla: Because I might laugh at them.
Me: I don't think that's very nice.
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you remember when you told me you didn't like it when people laughed at you because you pronounced words wrong?
Milla: (silence)
Me: You laughing at other people would make them feel the same way.
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you think it's nice to make people feel like that?
Milla: (silence)
Me: Do you think it would be nice to make people feel bad?
Milla: I don't want to talk about it.
Conversations with my Daughter #19
Milla: You will do everything for me.
Me: Oh, I will do everything for you, will I? How's that?
Milla: Because you do already. Because you will.
Conversations with my Daughter #18
(On the phone)
Milla: My nose hurts
Me: Well, we'll have to cut it off then.
Milla: No, no.
Me: Yeah - it's the best thing for a nose that hurts, cutting it off.
Milla: I've had enough. Bye.
(Hangs up on me)
Conversations with my Daughter #17
Milla: I think you should have some perfume.
Me: Why?
Milla: Because you smell. You should have a wash and some perfume. Wash first.
Conversations with my Daughter #16
(In the public toilet at the Edinburgh Botanic Gardens Cafe)
Milla: You have a willy
Me: No I do not.
Milla: You have that hairy thing.
Me: Yes, I do.
Milla: I have one, but with no hair
Conversations with my Daughter #15
Me: Did you enjoy your holiday on Skye?
Milla: I wanted to hold hands with Edinburgh, because I missed Edinburgh, and Edinburgh missed me.
Conversations with my Daughter #14
Me: I'm going for a shower.
Milla: Thanks.
Me: Why did you say thanks?
Milla: You're stinky.
Me: Am I really stinky?
Milla: Not really stinky, just a bit stinky.
Conversations with my Daughter #13
Milla: I know Ben 10 is called Ben 10 because his first name is Ben. But where do you think the 10 comes from?
Me: I don't know, I've never watched it.
Milla: Maybe he played tennis?
Conversations with my Daughter #12
Milla: How do I get to become a real princess?
Me: Well, there are two ways. First you can be born to a King and Queen, you can't do that any more. Secondly, you can marry a Prince.
Milla: I don't do that.
